Dear, dear, dynamic Brian,
I am the one who spoke to you about not having a purpose or joy, and then I won your set of books. I don't know how that happened, but it has started me on a road I will happily travel. Spending this past Saturday morning in your workshop has led me toward a path to change that (dare I say?) I'm excited about. I have had insights into myself over the past 24 hours that I don't believe I would have had, if it had not been for meeting you.
I walked into that room yesterday morning determined not to break that board. I didn't want to try. I had told myself that I wasn't going to do it for more than one reason (excuses), and they all made sense to me at the time. I've had some serious physical injuries recently, and I didn't want to risk being hurt again. I didn't want to jump on the psychological bandwagon and go along just because everyone else was doing it. I was an individual, and I wasn't going to be pressured into doing it.
By the time we broke into our groups, my energy level had gone from 6 to 5 and up to 10. I was the second person in my group to break the board, and I did it in my first try, breaking that board into 3 pieces. My sister Pat was in my group, and she broke the board too. She hadn't planned on doing it either. Pat had surgery in December to remove her thyroid due to cancer. She has a host of medical issues and just thought it would be best not to do the exercise. But, after I did it, she did too, and we held each other and sobbed. We've been through so much together in the past few months, so much stress, so many ups and downs. Yesterday we celebrated victory together, and it felt great!
I've got a lot to work on to become the person I want to be, but I think I have a good start. The things I wrote on my board to break through mattered to me, but I'm finding other things after having done it that I need to break through, insights into myself and why I have been so "blah" my whole life. I've been afraid of success. I've been afraid of being good at something. I've been afraid of being happy. If I had those things, they might be taken away, and I didn't want to lose them. I told myself I didn't want to break that board because I didn't want to be like everybody else, but the truth was, I was afraid of what would come after breaking the board. I might have to continue being happy and successful, powerful and competent. I'm not afraid anymore; a little nervous maybe, but I can push through it just like I pushed my hand through that piece of wood.
Thank you and God bless you. You have an amazing gift. Thanks for sharing it with me.